[Post 050] Anonymous Text

[francia]

Need help regarding love, potential relationships, and the like? Ask here.

[A very simple premise with ulterior motives. France will, however, answer all the questions seriously because love, in his opinion, should always be taken seriously no matter how big or how small.]

Comments

anon text

[francia]

I will try my best to help!

Often, when you start a relationship with someone that you've known well for a long time, not much actually changes. You've passed the critical point of having to redefine the nature of your relationship, but that doesn't change the history or what you know about each other. The beauty of it is that it doesn't have to: you have fallen in love with someone you know and who knows you. What you're looking for now is a way to liven things up, to make what you have special and unique. Do the two of you live together and/or have a routine? Are you looking for a surprise or just to put some sparks into the mix?

[islandshore]

Yeah, we live and travel together. As for what I'm after, hmm... I guess a bit of both? Something to shake up the routine and show how much I care.

[francia]

I suggest planning a surprise date. Somewhere off the beaten path of your routine. A day out to the Safari Zone followed by a candlelit dinner in Fuchsia, for example. Or, if you're looking for something a little less expensive, a picnic out as the weather is currently good with homemade fare and nice drinks? Spend the day and night together doing something you both would consider unique and special.

[islandshore]

Outings work, I'd just want it to be something new. Dinner out could work. Most of the time, we just grab pizza and spend the night watching movies or playing video games.

[Which should be a pretty big hint to their age.]

By the way, how important do you think it is to be open about relationships? Right now, nobody knows about it.

[Not even their closest friends...]

[francia]

I've always thought it is extremely important to be open about relationships. It might be a lot of stress and trouble in the beginning, but being able to be open about a relationship with not only each other but friends and family is good for everyone. In some ways, it's deepening the bonds that already exist by sharing with others.

[islandshore]

True. I just don't know how we'd go about it, especially since we haven't even told our best friend. It's... awkward.

[francia]

Have you and the person you love discussed this together? Do you know if they would like to be more public about your relationship?

[islandshore]

Actually, we've both kinda been avoiding the issue for a while. We don't really need to go public with it-- I mean, it's not like it's everyone's business, but if we had to tell anyone, it'd be her.

I just don't want her to feel like a third wheel...

[francia]

If you're worried about her feeling like a third wheel, then it is best to talk to her before things become awkward. These sort of apprehensive feels always grow with time if they aren't addressed, and they'll become obvious to her without her truly understanding why. She could figure it out on her own, but then she'll always feel like you are hiding something. If you face it now and openly address your apprehensions, she will be able to help you all navigate the change in circumstances between the three of you.

[islandshore]

I know. I think another part of it's just that... I had feelings for her for the longest time. We both did, but she's only fourteen and I'm nineteen now. And at our age, that kinda gap just wouldn't work.

Basically, it's ridiculously complicated, but you're probably right. We just gotta come clean and hope she'll understand. And it's not like we plan on ignoring her just because we're together now.

[francia]

Yes, age gaps at your ages are substantial. It's a difference not only in number but personal experience.

I wish you the best of luck with having the conversation. Try to be as succinct and clear as possible. Tell her what you've told me.