[Post 050] Anonymous Text

[francia]

Need help regarding love, potential relationships, and the like? Ask here.

[A very simple premise with ulterior motives. France will, however, answer all the questions seriously because love, in his opinion, should always be taken seriously no matter how big or how small.]

Comments

[anonymous text]

[captainash]

Very honest, I'll give you that.

[That was his main concern about the whole thing, but since he's there...]

What works better if you want to be forgiven for something big, offering a constant long term presence and support, or making a few grand gestures and offering thoughtful gifts? My first choice would have been better than either of those, but it's not an option anymore.

[anonymous text]

[francia]

I agree that the first option was optimal, but, since it is not something you can consider anymore, I would say your second option is close. I would, however, not suggest grand gestures, rather meaningful ones. It's better that the gestures mean something the person you're looking for forgiveness from. Thoughtful gestures and gifts are the way to go.

Also, if you have not said it yet, say you're sorry for what you want forgiven. Don't just say it once: keep saying it even long after they've acknowledged it.

[anonymous text]

[captainash]

Oh, no, my presence and support are still an option, or at least they should be unless things go badly, it's just that I first wanted to Never mind that. But all things considered, just meaningful gestures don't seem like they'd be enough.

...I did say it, and I'll keep saying it for fifty years if I have to. But even the forgiveness I've received cannot quite cover all that I need to repay.

[anonymous text]

[francia]

[France really wants to ask what you did, but he's going to refrain for now.]

Grand gestures are the type of thing we do when we want to impress someone. They always leave a bad taste if they're meant to be fostering forgiveness. Smaller, focused, and principled gestures would be better here. Repetition also is something you may need to consider, since it seems your debt is quite deep. This isn't about what you want but about what the other person wants and needs.

[anonymous text]

[captainash]

That's the thing. I know what they want and need in general, but giving them that depends slightly on outside factors, though I intend to do my best. And I know what they specifically wanted for a very long time, but it's... beyond anyone's power to give, now. I guess you could say I'm asking about option C, just in case.

[anonymous text]

[francia]

<font face="Courier>Your option C is actually very simple: consistency. While you cannot control outside factors and what they want is beyond natural power, you have control over your actions. You can present and conduct yourself in a consistent manner that asks forgiveness and shows that you are sincere and care. It might feel like beating a dead horse after a while, but it is what you have to do.</font>

[anonymous text]

[captainash]

Guess I'll really have to pull all the strings I can to get the opportunity to be consistent, then. I'd been planning to set some favors aside for emergencies, even if it meant not returning to them yet, but I'm guessing bursts of care mixed with absences wouldn't help anyone much.

[anonymous text]

[francia]

Bursts of care between absences is likely to only rub salt in the proverbial wound. It will feel like pity or begging, which does not facilitate forgiveness but rather resentment. Consistency is extremely hard as it's a continuous effort. I myself don't have the best history with it. I wish you the best of luck.

[anonymous text]

[captainash]

Thank you. If I want the ideal conditions to make them happy again, I'll need a lot of it.