[France has clearly planned this communication. His hair is nice and neat, usually facial scruff clean and trimmed, and friendly smile firmly in place. So this isn't his usual I'm here to boast/show off or Watch me do something silly/stupid/sensation in the name of cosmic irony. No, this is France, ready and with clear purpose at the 'Gear. Treasure this rare sight.]

Back in October, I asked about taking the gym challenge and how I should best go about it. Because of a combination of various circumstances -

[This is a lie. France is just lazy.]

I am only now ready to do so. I'm currently in Blackthorn City, and I've decided to take on Clair because I believe her to be a worthy opponent for this France!

[Ah, and there's the arrogance France is reknowned for.]

So, I wish to inquire specifically as to what I should expect from such a beautiful dragoon and if there are particular moves that I would find useful. In exchange for your information, which I do understand has been hard won, I would be willing to offer compensation in the form of a painting. Perhaps a portrait of someone you care about here or your pokémon.

[France grins winningly. Sparkles may feature unsubtly in the background, although that might just be static.]

I would also be willing to negotiate fees for my paintings if you're interested and don't have information.

Thank you very much for your attention, and I look forward to your response.

[A grand, flourishing gesture, and then the feed cuts.]

[Considering in the past instances of such events France has been dropped face-first from a great height, trapezed around the entirety of the world blooming naked, and, in one particularly memory (or non-memorable, depending on how you look at it) been trapped inside of a vending machine, waking up this late morning still in the bed he fell asleep in the night before is exceptionally tame.]

[Waking up in the bed he fell asleep in on top of a volcanic rock formation on Cinnabar Island instead of his Goldenrod Hotel room is exceptionally not quite so tame.]

[France palms on the 'Gear, which thankfully made the trip with him next to his pillow, the camera picking up bedhead, half-asleep panic, and the beginning of a sunburn due to sleeping the morning away in the hot tropical sun, oblivious. He blinks owlishly at the 'Gear, voice colored by sleep=addled dismay.]

What -?

[He catches sight of the pinkish state of his own face in the little feed screen, and his eyes widen comically in horror. Immediately, he moves to the side of the bed where he usually keeps his bag, only to find it gone--along with his sunscreen and any and all clothes.]

No.

No.

This is a nightmare!!!

[If it wasn't already obvious from the angle the camera has of the expanse of pale back now visible on the screen, France sleeps naked.]

[Prose]

( Two years. Two years in this place, and France has nothing to show for it. )



[Text]

I'm thinking of taking on some of the gyms to give my pokémon a challenge and the opportunity to grace Johto and Kanto with the beauty that is the Republic of France! What is the best advice you can offer to conquer the gyms?

[The 'Gear appears to be broadcasting a very summery flower arrangement atop a table situated carefully and pleasingly in front of a window. It appears to be early afternoon, so the daylight illuminates the set-up rather nicely, casting a small shadow. It looks, for all intents and purposes, like the front of a pretty boring greeting card.]

[From France's expression as he switches the focus of the 'Gear back to himself, he certainly doesn't look entirely thrilled himself.]

Back at Christmas, a friend of mine was so kind as to gift me with painting supplies. I am a highly accomplished painter, and this -

[He waves his hand at the still-life set up with a half-exasperated, half-pained expression.]

I could paint something like this in my sleep. I have, in fact, done so.

[He sighs dramatically before straightening up and making a flourishing motion to indicate Marianne, who is, for once, doing nothing more innocuous as lying contentedly in the path of the sunbeam.]

So, the question I want to pose to you is this: where could I find a more majestic setting to properly capture her and my other pokemon's beauty?