francia | [Post 002] Video/Action Outside New Bark

Current Mood: pleased
Current Location: route 29

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[Post 002] Video/Action Outside New Bark

[The video comes on revealing a very, very pleased France. Yes, he's the kind of pleased that normally is associated with bedroom activities and winning a war. Marianne sits in the background, looking equally as pleased.]

We will eat well tonight.

[He holds up a number of KO'd Rattata and Pidgey by their tails and feet and beams with happy satisfaction at the screen.]

Are these better roasted or braised?

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[He gives this new person a curious look.]

What do you mean?

Your the first person I've seen that hasn't come in on my gear! I was starting to believe I had been hallucinating!

[France's left eye twitches.]

I am not a hallucination.

[He waves his handfuls of Rattata and Pigdey indignantly at this guy.]

I am the Nation of France, home of the most excellent cuisine!

Wait...a country in a human body?

[Well. This one seems actually quite reasonable. It's rare France runs into someone who doesn't flip.]

Yes. Now, braised or roasted?

[He waves his catch at Ocelot.]

What? What do you mean? Last I heard, pokemon taste awful!

[Good job. You just shot down France's hopes and dreams. He looks devastated.]

But... but...

I'm so tired of nuts!

Get over it you whiny bastard!

[France stomps his foot and glares.]

I am not whiny: I am an artist tied of being stifled in this world of limited food selection!

Its no different for me, you'll survive! Besides, are there no food hotspots here?

[Well. A man uninterested in art. How hideous.]

In case you hadn't noticed (and I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't), there are only residents in the town.

Can you not catch a fish? There was water there.

In case you haven't noticed, there isn't a place to buy a fishing rod around here.

[Plainly, this guy is as daft as he is muscular.]

My god your hopeless! Just cut down a tree and make one yourself!

I don't have an axe or even a butter knife! Haven't you looked in the stupid pack you were given to survive with?!

I can make one out of a tree branch and a rock! That was part of my survival training in the army!

I was in the military before you were even born, and you didn't ask me to use a tree branch; you asked me to cut down a tree!

He must be lying! He doesn't look much older than I am!

What year do you think it is?

Upstart young knucklehead -

Last I was certain, 2010, but time is relative especially when you live for more than a millennium...

Wa-wait a sec! What did you just say about a milennium???

[He tosses his hair and spreads his hands to display himself.]

I am the Nation of France. I have been around enough to see changes in kings and gods. A millennium is only the tip of the iceberg for what I have known.

So...you claim to be...part of planet Earth itself?

I am the embodiment of everything French. Therefore, I am France, and I cannot cease to exist until my culture and people are all gone.

So you, all by yourself, hold France and all its culture and history?

Yes, in a nutshell.

[There are other stipulations to it, but it is easier to leave it at that.]

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